(转帖)为什么李阳一定不会失败

pp95

　(雨横山:网上常见有 “为什么李阳一定会失败 ”之类的贴子 。我是 李阳 的粉丝 ，现在让我来说说 么李阳一定不会失败 。)
　　
　　 I predict that Mr. Li will not only not fail, but will be immortalized in the anal, oops, I mean annals, of history.
　　
　　One.
　　 Depending on whose statistics you believe, as few as one out of a hundred businesses still survives after the first ten years. Anyone that does will continue to do so for decades, or even centuries. Mr.Li’s business is just about ten years old, with no sign of waning. By all indications, Mr. Li is a shrewd businessman well versed in the art of hype-and-dump, mass-hysteria-manipulation, dream merchandising, more-is-less packaging, recycling-and-repackaging, false-confident building..., all of which are necessary ingredients for successfully promoting a panacea.
　　
　　 Some people pointed out that Mr.Li is not as great a master of English as he professes. His claim of being a "universal translator" has been proven wrong time and again in public. Some of his early "learning materials" are flawed. Yes, perhaps at the beginning they were. But by now Mr. Li has deep pockets; he can well afford real experts to rewrite his materials for him. Besides, beginning learners are beginning learners: they can hardly tell what’s good or bad? No, Mr. Li is in no danger of losing business due to such trivialities.
　　
　　Two.
　　 Mr.Li has confirmed his cult leader status by having people knelled and paid homage to him. Not all cults have their sanctuaries battered down by a tank from the FDA as in the U.S.A. (or worse in some other countries). In the 60s, a long hair and full- bearded man preaching "make love, not war" and feeding the masses with wine turned from water, would have been considered a new age hippie and got arrested for serving alcohol without a permit. However, some cults flourished and became great religions. When Roman Emperor Constantine embraced Christianity in the 4th century A.D. (or C.E. (Common Era) for those who want to remain religious-neutral), Christians no longer have to worry about becoming dim-sum for lions and objects of entertainment in arenas. Overnight, a fringe sect was transformed into a state-sanctioned, main-stream religion.
　　
　　 Likewise, by appointing Mr. Li as the official language trainer for the staff of the 2008 Olympics, the most populated country on Earth has effectively given official recognition of his unique talent. His status legitimized, Mr. Li will, undoubtedly, carve himself an empire and be elevated to the ranks of the immortals. Indeed, as the study of English takes on religious zeal in the Middle Kingdom, where people have shed their Mao jackets in favor of Pierre Cardin’s and Victoria Secret’s, muted their chants of "death to Capitalist-Imperialists" for screams of "Mammon, Mammon", and traded the "Little Red Book" for the "Gospel of L. G. Alexander", Mr.Li’s deification is not a matter of "if" but "when."
　　
　　Three.
　　 The famous American showman, P.T. Barum, purported to have said, "There is a sucker born every minute." That was at the end of the 19th century when the world population stood at around 1.5 billion, roughly that of China today. Assuming Barum was correct, there should now be one sucker born every minute in China alone. Translate that to one year, and you have over 500,000 suckers born every year in China that will one day grow to school age. Most of them will be there to line Mr.Li’s pocket eagerly with their hard-earned dollars. So how can Mr. Li fail? There is a virtual endless stream of customers for him.
　　
　　 One dark cloud remains in the horizon. For the last two thousand years, two competing religions that stemmed from the same root have been at each other’s throats: The Judo-Christian faiths and Islam, with no clear winner in sight. Alone the way, they wreaked a path of destruction across the globe. Which of the two new language sects, C.E. headed by L.Y., or N.O.S. with Mr.Yu at the helm, will emerge victorious as the new Messiah for the millions of Chinese under the yoke of language enslavement? Will money be a stronger incentive than religious fervor, and that, under the banner of "harmony", the two will cooperate instead of waging a dragged out, last man standing war for supremacy? I am glad I am an old man who will not likely to be around no matter what happens. Amen.
　　
　　 For those who say that I forgot to mention pedagogical superiority as a fourth point, I say to them, "Pardon me? What’s that?" Don’t you know by now that "English" is a great money making concept?
　　
　　 Let’s not be too negative. The business of English has helped increase the GDP of China. Can you imagine what would happen if the Chinese government suddenly declares English education and exams no longer compulsory, that foreign businessmen would have to start using Chinese for negotiating trade in China, and that Chinese exports would have only Chinese labels and instructions? The whole "English industry" would collapse overnight. The subsequent domino effect would cripple the Chinese economy. China would spiral into a recession or even a depression. So making money out of English is good for you, me, the country and the world!
　　
　　 In closing, let’s give three cheers to China’s new generation of capitalist-opportunists. Hip, hip, Hooray! Hip, hip, Hooray. Hip, hip; hooray!



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(pp95:我花了五个小时把楼主的英文陈述翻译成中文。）
　　

我预言，李阳先生不但不会失败，而且在肛门中，哎哟，敲错了，我是说在历史记载中也将永垂不朽。
　　
　　一、
　　经历头十年仍挺过来的生意不足百分之一，这要看你相信谁的统计数字。任何人做到了这点几十年或甚至几百年都将继续这么做。李阳先生的生意差不多刚好十年，尚未表现出衰败的迹象。根据全部迹象，李先生是个精明的商人，精通以下这些艺术-----炒作和丢弃，大量的歇斯底里症（过度的兴奋）操纵，梦幻的销售规划，多但缺少内涵的包装，回收和重新包装，错误的自信建设，。。。全部的这些都是必要的因素对于成功促销的万灵药。

有一些人指出李先生不是像他声称的那么伟大的英语大师。他的强调关于身为“世界的翻译者”已经被多次证明是错误的在公开场合。一些他的“学习素材”是有缺陷的。是的，或许在开始的阶段它们是有缺陷的。可是到如今李先生富裕了。他可以供应得起真正的专家重写他的教材给他。而且，初学者始终是初学者：他们很难辨认（教材）什么好什么坏。没有，李先生没有失去生意的危机由于这样的琐事。

第二。

李先生已经确定他的礼拜式的领袖地位，要人们对他鸣丧钟和表示敬仰。不是全部的祭仪的圣所被从FDA的坦克打下像在美国一样。在六十年代，一个长发和满是胡子的男人，传"做x爱，没有战争”的道理，并喂大众从水转变成的酒，会被视为一个新世纪的嬉皮士和被拘捕，因为供应酒而没有准证。然而，一些祭仪活跃和变成伟大的宗教。当罗马的皇帝君士坦丁接受了基督教在公元第四个世纪给那些要保持宗教中立的人。基督教徒再也不需要担心成为狮子的点心或娱乐业的物体。一下子从一个边沿的教派转变成为一个国家核准，主流的宗教。
　　　
同样地，任命李先生成为2008奥林匹克运动会全体职员的官方语言训练师。在地球上最多人口的国家已经有效的正式承认他的独特天赋。他的地位被合法，李先生将会，无疑地，雕刻他自己成为一个帝国和被提拔到不朽的人物的等级。的确，当英语的学习承担宗教式的热情在中国，人们脱下毛泽东的短上衣而支持法国高贵、典雅的皮尔.卡丹服装和世界顶级时尚内衣---维多利亚的秘密，弄哑他们的“向资本主义帝国的死亡”赞美诗，交易“红宝书”，换成“世界著名的英语教学权威L.G. 亚历山大的福音（指他的书）”。李先生的神化不是“如果”的问题，是“什么时候”的问题。

第三。

美国有名的娱乐界的人，P.T. Barum, 有这种含义的说：“每分钟有一个容易受骗的人出生。”那是在十九世纪末期当世界人口大约有1.5亿，大约是中国今天的人口。假定Barum是对的，应该是一分钟有一个容易受骗的人出生，单单在中国。解释这个说法引升到一年，每年你有超过五十万容易受骗的人在中国出生，他们有一天会成长到上学校的年龄。他们大部分会急切地排队到李先生的口袋用他们辛苦赚来的钱。所以李先生哪里会失败呢？有一个虚拟的永不结束的顾客流给他。

一团阴暗的云停留在水平线上。过去两百年，两个互相较劲的宗教起源于同一个根，已经在彼此的喉咙上。基督教和伊斯兰教的信仰，没有一个明显的赢家在视线里。单单在这条路上，他们给地球造成了破坏。两个教派的哪一个新的语言教派，基督教派的时期以L.Y为首，或者计算机网络的设计操作系统的时期以余晓芒为首（C.E. headed by L.Y., or N.O.S. with Mr.Yu at the helm）（这一部分我不明白，我只能大略猜测楼主的意思），对于百万个华人屈服于语言的奴役，会胜利显现为新的救世主？金钱会不会将多过宗教的热诚成为较强的刺激，而且这一点，在“和睦”的旗帜下，它们两者会互相合作而不是进行拉扯把对方扯下来，最后一个人把战争当作领先地位？我很高兴我是一个老人，我将不会在世目睹无论发生什么事。阿门。

对于那些说我忘记提到“教学法的优越性”当做第四点。我对他们说：“你再说多一次，那是什么？”你不知道现在英语是一个伟大的生钱概念吗？

让我们别太消极。英语的生意已经帮助中国的国内生产总值。你想像一下，什么将会发生如果中国政府突然宣布英语教育和考试不再是强制性的。这会导致外国商人必须在中国用华语谈判交易。这会导致中国出口会只有华语标签和华语指示。整个“英语工业”会一下子崩溃。
　　
随后而来的骨牌效应将削弱中国经济。中国将会成螺旋状下降到不景气甚至萧条。所以以英语赚钱会对你有益，对我有益，对国家乃至与全世界有益。

结束，让我们给三个欢呼予中国的新一代资产阶级机会主义者。Hip, hip, Hooray! Hip, hip, Hooray. Hip, hip; hooray!

  

[ 本帖最后由 pp95 于 2008-4-27 21:04 编辑 ]